Yeah, pretty fucking hard to beat that headline, but stick with me here. IRNA, the official news agency of the Islamic Republic of Iran, published a bunch of photos of an 80 year-old man who hasn’t bathed in 60 years–dating his last scrub behind the ears (or anywhere) back to 1954, when he was 20. And if avoiding a bathtub since McCarthyism was a threat doesn’t seem THAT unhygienic, homeboy’s also been living in a hole “that resembles a grave,” eating dead animals and smoking animal shit (?) out of a three-inch pipe, his most prized possession. He’s not just low maintenance, this dude is the OG of that “just rolled out of a bed that’s actually a hole in the ground for the first time in 60 years” look. He even effortlessly rips a casual FIVE cigarettes at a time, like he’s trying way harder than people who try hard to look like they’re not trying too hard.
The pictures are surreal. Here are a few courtesy of Mohammad Babaei, IRNA: